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My Review: 3

Last January I met Ron Jeremy.

This was similar to my meeting with Paris Hilton. By that I mean that the “meeting” and our “conversation” consisted of approximately 3 words. This all went down in Las Vegas, during CES (the Consumer Electronics Show.)

While nerds and porn stars do not hang out on on an every day basis, once a year in Las Vegas they do. This happens every year, because CES occurs every January, as does the AVN (Adult Video Network awards.) These two shows almost always overlap by at least 2 or 3 days. People pour in from all over the world for CES, to trade secrets and cut deals and see the newest gadgets and gizmos. Adult stars and starlets also pour into Vegas, from famous adult entertainers like the subject of this post all the way down to the lowliest of adult internet site developers. The adult community gathers to honor one another with accolades for various milestone achievements in adult entertainment. There is no doubt in my mind that the gathering of adult entertainers in Las Vegas at the same time that 100,000 geeks come into town is no coincidence.

Anyway, I happened to be hanging out in the casino of the Venetian hotel towards the end of CES, after the first full day of the AVN awards show. As I was “people watching” (read: gawking) and observing all of the porn stars, who should happen by but Ron Jeremy, the overweight and hirsute adult star of over 3 decades of naughty film making. It so happens that a Showtime exclusive movie was made about the life of Mr. Jeremy, and it also so happens that while I was sick in bed I watched that special no less than 3 times. So when a friend poked me and said “isn’t that Ron Jeremy?” and I turned around and saw that in fact it was, I took off like a shot to meet the man.

I caught up to him, and the “hedgehog” (as he is sometimes known) looked exhausted and grumpy. Undeterred by his demeanor or by good manners, I stuck out my hand and said “Mr.JeremyIjustwantedtosayhiandthatit’snicetomeetyou”in a breathless rush. He stuck out his own hand, gave me a brief and very limp shake and mumbled something inaudible without pausing in his stride or looking at me.

I was disappointed, and that is actually the reason for the low rating, but the truth is that I have fond memories of my “meeting” with Ron Jeremy. It made for a neat story, not least because I had bolted like a felon at a Policeman’s Ball when I heard that Ron Jeremy was in the casino. I wish he had been nicer, but I’m still glad I met him.